the fact that everyone *including myself* is getting over the holiday rush must have contributed to my jaded attitude when it comes to housework, cooking, and the overall "doing" of anything to be done.
because my lovely work had decided to drop all my hours (i've gotten 2 1/2 in the past 4 WEEKS), I've had a ridiculously large amount of free time on my hands; however, instead of increasing my productivity, it's pretty much squashed it. maybe it's the fact that my life is one giant black hole, or it's me.
i'm starting to think it's me.....
just kidding. i knew it was me all along :)
dangit
anyways, i think i'm going to blame bones. no, not the show (even though it's my favorite :D )
but actual bones.
you see, it all comes down to elske and her bones. (elske is my CUTEST dog but more importantly my walking and jogging and sprinting and whatever buddy) she got arthritis or hip displasia or both. she's always limping and sore and is much less fun (but i love her just as much). but now it's hard for me to go on my daily hour long walks that made me so happy before. i'm not lazy (about that) but i just cant LEAVE for a walkie when shes looking at me all sad and uncomprehending and then does that puppy face....... mmmmffff sosad....
so i havent been exercising as much and my body (although not too spongy) is missing the endorphin boost.
i also blame me for, you know, slacking.
i really dont see an endpoint and i dont have a direction for my future right now so i'm feeling rather unmotivated (but guilt still works).
so january sucks. i cant find a new job in sd. i dont have enough $ to move away from sd.
i cant stand not having a job. i cant stand cleaning and cooking anymore. i cant stand for living in filth either.
i dont know.
