thE bESt dEfENSE iS A GOOd OffENSE

so i'm always so frustrated with people WHO DONT POST or UPDATE THEIR STATUS because even if their life is as boring as it sounds, it really cant be as boring as mine!  and i want to hear about the boring stuff anyways.  :)  ... and then i was thinking about how my mouse always glides on over to my blog link and never clicks on it because i never feel like writing down my boring life... and i had a big "....oh...." moment.  

that's it

so what's going on in my life?

i start my new job at victoria secret on thursday!  and i'm soooo excited, but job searching isnt over because i think i may need another job if i'm ever going to pay those stupid bills (or actually spend money on something i want!).  

but until i know for sure, i'm HERE at HOME being bored but not really- just avoiding anything i need to be doing and not going anywhere because i'm weak ^_^ and WILL spend money!  plus then i dont have to pay for gas.  

so my dad moved his office into the front bedroom which is fine because it's temp. but makes it SO much harder to pretend that i'm

a) not sleeping in until ridiculous hours

and 

b) doing something constructive with my time

oh yeah and 

c) not eating and hording/hiding any precious junk food in the house (family diet thingie) so if it's somewhat sugary at all, it's NOT AVAILABLE FOR THE RANDOM AND/OR GLUTINOUS  PILFERING BY BROTHERS THAT DO. NOT. LIVE. HERE!  that's right, they come, they eat (all the good stuff), they leave. sonotfair!

BUT 

i swear i'd do "b" if SOMEONE turned on the freaking AIR CONDITIONER ever once in a while because it's SOOOOO fricking HOT!!!!  rar. 

but seriously, it's impossible to do anything that involves moving and not taking siestas.  

oh yeah

so i'm NOT going to Utah (the place with cooler weather *sighs longfully*)

because i'm so in debt right now that it's just easier to loaf around at my parent's house and trying not to open anything that looks remotely like a bill.

on a good note.... 

i have my elske dog.  i love her! 

.:Where it Lands... No one Knows:.

so i'm trying to find a job (if you haven't gleaned that from my previous entries) and so i dont know where i'll be staying until i get one.  If i magically get one in san diego, then i'll go there- if i get one in utah.... i'll stay here.

i'm somewhat torn, though.  on one hand, i love my family and san diego and ELSKE! (my dog) and on the other i love utah's CHANGING weather and i really want my own apartment.  i also have to get my year's residency in before i can go to a university here.  

the whole thing's getting old fast.

i'm also writing a book but it's so much work.  it's frustrating b/c i'm such a perfectionist. and dont ask me what it's about!  I reveal nothing until i've finished.  it just seems cheesy otherwise *grimace* 

btw i MISS my ELSKE!!! a lot. i cant wait to finish my schooling so i can be with her again.  all this inner trauma for a dog... i'm SUCH a sucker.

with this pathetic admission, i say GOODNIGHT

take a good hard look

     I'm in Salt Lake!  surprise!  (it was kinda last minute) I'm trying to apply to jobs here and maybe go to school if I have enough $, otherwise I'll work until I get residency so I don't have to pay through the nose.  Heather's awesome for allowing me to pay a lifetime of servitude in exchange for a room in her basement until I get an apartment. I LOVE her new house and- even though it's showing what a freak I am I admit that- I LOVE cleaning it (most days).  That's my plan.... for now. 

      I'm so tired of deciding where to be and so scared that I'll miss something important if I get it wrong, so I'm just going to do what I want until the busy signal goes away and my prayers get answered.  Oooo. That's a good line.  I should write an uninspirational poem about it.  (I'm not being sarcastic).

     So here's a song called "Why does it always rain on me?" by Travis and it's completely what I've been trying to write a poem about (forever) and was never happy with the outcome.  So there.    http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/travis/why+does+it+always+rain+on+me_20140518.html 

you're awful- i love you

heyyyy... i KNOW i KNOW it's been a while.  

So im in sd

and i quit my job at quiznos (it's a long and drama-filled story full of juicy details that i dont like sharing- point is... there were good reasons behind it) and even though i dont have a job right now, it was worth it 100%.

So i have a lot of free time

and it feels SOOOO good.  i can actually function.  even though i can't really make myself take a break (due to serious guilt issues) it's nice to do things that i've been wanting to do.  like oragami and catch up on house episodes... can anyone get enough of hugh laurie?  nope!  :D

So i'm feeling better

and if you dont believe me you're probably very smart.  i was actually waiting for a good day to update this so i wouldnt overburden you with difficult problems that really have no solution.  aren't i gracious?  i think so.

so i'm counting my blessings

literally- i'm counting them.  with no repeats no matter how thankful i am.

dangit!  i should have allowed repeats.

so i need a job 

and the job market here is in the toilet.  and not a clean toilet either.  one that's backed up with lots of floaties.  that's sd right now.

so maybe i'll move

but i'm not pushing it.  holiday season's right behind the corner and i hope to be working through most of the major holidays.  sure beats the alternative, and im not talking about the music.  

will update when something actually happens 

or not because if something DOES happen, i'll be doing that and not this.

love yas!!  thanks for reading (or at least making my counter go up and letting me think you're reading)

update on my "life"

i am home

i am working

i am making money

and i want to spend it

but i cant

because bills suck

rar

i have some kind of ear/jaw/neck ache

it HURTS a lot

and advil is good

but doesnt work as well as i'd like

i'm glad to be home

i'm tired

it's still too hot

i want ac

i have to do laundry

i dont like laundry

i have to get ready for bed

which is the only reason 

i've put it off so long

i'm reading a good book

it makes me happy

two kids are crying right now

it doesnt make me happy

see kim

see kim run

i like short sentences

dont you?

vegas' weather is getting closer and closer to hells.... hmm

so im in vegas and my car might have been broken forever but it got fixed... but i still owe dad 800 dollas so thatll be fun to pay off along with my tuition from last semester.  i really want to exercise but because its hades weather here, i cant so.. yeah.  hope everythings going well for you guys....

just two more months before hell is over

so i'm obviously way off on my sleeping schedule, but i'm too busy and not bothered enough to fix it.  i have to be up in 4 hours.  hm.

so. it's way early.  

i've now stopped working at quiznos and am only working at blockbuster.  so only one job.  yay.  still no time.  

SO.  sooooo

i'm homesick.  i miss elske.  i'm possibly going insane, but that could be pms because it's hard to tell.  it wont stop raining here.  i finally know what it's like to hydroplane.  no accident.  still freaked.  dont like rain.  

miss home and food and the ocean and pool and large bodies of water in general.  miss hills and elske and family and tv breaks.  miss lack of wierdo roommates.  girls are so mean.  not to me.  to eachother in general.  miss elske.  miss stores.  there's only three clothing stores and a payless here.  i dont want to shop.  it's just comforting to know that they're there.  i now fit into 5 1/2 size shoes.  not 7's nemore.   maybe it's the water.  

no hot guys in my classes.  makes them SOOOO boring.  no hot guys at church.  that too, is boring.  i want roast and mashed potatoes and carrots and waffles.  not at once.  want sunshine, clarity, and a place to keep elske while i'm here.